When Wendy Parker’s husband Jonathon was diagnosed with early-onset dementia at just 59, her world changed forever.
The couple, from Bramley in Rotherham, have been together since school, married for 42 years and should be looking forward to enjoying their retirement together.
But 60-year-old Wendy, a clinical support worker from RDASH’s virtual ward team, is learning to care for her husband in new, heartbreaking ways.
Before his diagnosis of Lewy Bodies dementia in 2023, Jonathon had worked on the railway for 25 years and was still very active. However, his family started noticing subtle personality changes and him forgetting simple things, such as how to drive, around two years before his diagnosis.
“I remember the last day he worked,” says Wendy. “His boss had asked him to drive to Leeds to pick something up, but when he got there he didn’t know what he was there for or why he’d been asked to go.”
It was on that day his employer recommended Jonathon took some time off, and he never returned.
Two years on, Jonathon’s dementia has progressed. He now needs help with everyday tasks like holding cutlery and getting dressed but still enjoys walking and spending time with the family dog, Bud.
“When someone has dementia, it’s like they lose their voice – it’s like the lights are on but no one is home. I am my husband’s voice. He spent his entire life providing for us and I just want to give him the best life that he has left, in any way I can.”
The family’s heartbreak deepened this summer when Jonathon’s mum, Hazel, passed away after her own five-year battle with dementia.
However, despite her grief, Wendy is determined to make a difference for others facing similar challenges by supporting Rotherham Hospital and Community Charity’s dementia appeal.
In October, Wendy, Jonathon and their children and grandchildren joined other local families at the charity’s autumn memory walk at Manvers Lake. The Parkers raised £650 and Wendy is also planning a tombola and bake sale to continue supporting the cause.
The Dementia Appeal is aiming to raise £250,000 to make Rotherham Hospital’s wards more dementia friendly.
“I know if Jonathon is ever admitted to hospital, he will find it extremely frightening and confusing. Anything that can be done to improve services for people like my husband will be really beneficial.”
This festive season, you can support the dementia appeal by something as simple as buying a £1 raffle ticket. The charity is running their winter raffle with three incredible prizes including an electric hybrid bike, a luxury festive hamper, and £1,000 in cash.
You can enter online or buy tickets in person from the charity’s hub located in the entrance of Rotherham Hospital (open Monday to Friday 10.30am-2.30pm).
If, like Wendy, you’d like to fundraise to support dementia care in Rotherham, get in touch with the charity today. Email trft.rhcc@nhs.net phone 01709 426821 or visit www.therotherhamft.nhs.uk/charity
