Penistone's Claire Throssell pens book for her boys

3rd November 2025

Ten Christmases have passed since Claire Throssell last wrapped presents for her children.

In October 2014, her two sons, Jack and Paul, were killed by their father. They were 12 and nine.

Just a few days before he died, the older boy, Jack, told his mum how he was looking forward to Christmas for the first time in his young life, for it would be the first one they didn’t have to spend with their dad.

His parents had recently divorced and he was excited by the thought of having a nice family Christmas for a change without the weight of his father’s abusive behaviour looming over the festivities.

Jack never got to have his happy family Christmas.

He and younger brother Paul died at the hands of their father who set 14 fires in the family home in Penistone and barricaded the three of them in the loft.

It was an act of unimaginable suffering, the final fatal blow in a 16-year campaign of domestic abuse – one that ended two young lives and changed Claire’s forever.

As the season of togetherness unfolds, Claire will feel the ache of absence more deeply than most. There will be no stockings on the mantel, no long lists or stack of presents under the tree.

“Christmas is hard for me because it’s all about family. But I’ve learnt that the perfect day doesn’t exist materially. It doesn’t matter how many presents you have, how good you make the tree look, or how much you stress over cooking the dinner. If you share the day with the people you love then that’s the perfect Christmas,” she says.

Claire has spent too many Christmases without the two people she loves the most, but her love didn’t die with her children. This year, she has given them an invaluable gift: a voice.

She has written a book – For My Boys – that stands as a testament to their lives, a loving, lasting legacy in ink and memory.

It’s a tribute to the joy they brought before that terrible day and the memories they left behind – of school runs, bedtime stories, sibling bickering, and muddy boots by the door.

The book also acts as a brutally honest account of life as a domestic abuse survivor and the unbreakable bond between a mother and her children.

“I always say that there are no books that teach you how to live without your children. There are plenty of books about weaning, potty training or getting them into a bedtime routine.

“I shouldn’t have had to write this book, but it has been a real privilege to do it when there are some amazing authors out there that never get a break.”

The idea to write a book came to fruition last year for the tenth anniversary of Jack and Paul’s deaths. Claire wrote it head to hand, filling two notebooks with 88,000 words, aided by endless boxes of tissues and a fair few bottles of wine.

“It was a mix of emotions writing it,” she says. “Anger, pain, but also good memories that made me smile. I’d write the darkest points in the darkest hours and it nearly broke me. But it was really important that they were my words so that the truth will remain long after I’m gone.”

This is a story she has told many times before. But For My Boys is the loudest she’s ever told it.

Claire has worked with her friend and journalist, Michelle Rawlins, to fine tune her writing and turn it into a memoir that has been published by Mirror Books.

Michelle, who lives locally to Claire, has covered this harrowing story from the beginning and set up the Care for Claire campaign to help rebuild the house: Claire’s ex purposefully cancelled the home insurance before setting the house ablaze.

Claire remembers every detail of that day in 2014. The pit of dread she felt when she returned home to see her son’s phone left on the coffee table. The knock at the door, the flashing blue lights, the instant realisation that her worst nightmare had come true.

She had warned social services and the family courts that her ex would kill the boys. Jack and Paul told professionals they didn’t want to see their dad, but their feelings were ignored.

Her ex was granted access through the family courts despite years of controlling behaviour. No one asked the right questions. No one listened. Nobody has ever been held accountable.

“There’s a deafening silence around children’s rights. Every child deserves a childhood and deserves to live. Even when he was dying, Jack made sure he told everyone that his dad did it and that he did it on purpose. He died thinking he’d saved his little brother’s life because I never told him any different. He was there for his brother when nobody else was.”

Beyond the deeply personal nature of the book, Claire hopes it will open up conversations about domestic abuse, especially the unseen, manipulative forms that often go unspoken until it’s too late.

One in four women and one in seven men have experienced domestic abuse since the age of 16. It’s a largely hidden crime because it often occurs in the family home and very few victims report it to the police.

“If this book helps even one person realise their life is heading that way and that they need to leave then it’s worth the pain of writing it.”

For 16 years, Claire lived under constant abuse and coercive control. He controlled where she went, who she saw, and even what she wore, slowly and deliberately stripping away her freedom, confidence, and self-worth.

“People can be quick to ask why I didn’t just leave. But it wasn’t that simple. I was trapped. At the lowest point, he was urinating on me. It was degrading, but when you’re that far gone you start to accept it.

“I could never understand how he hated me so much but couched it in words of love. He used love as a weapon. He’d ring me 40 times a day to check where I was and who I was with, but then say he only rang because he loved me.”

Claire did eventually leave, taking the boys to her mum’s house after her ex pushed her down the stairs in front of the boys. She didn’t want her sons to grow up thinking that behaviour and treatment of women was normal.

However, the abuse only heightened after their separation; Jack and Paul were killed just two weeks after their parents’ divorce was granted.

“I get asked how I’m able to talk about it, but while ever domestic abuse remains a taboo subject, perpetrators have control. Once we don’t tolerate it, they’ve no place to hide.

“Nobody should have to live in fear and oppression like I did for so long. People might judge me when they read the book, but I also hope they judge me for where I was in the book to where I am today.”

For My Boys is a testament to Claire’s strength and her capacity to keep going, even when everything is broken.

For the last eleven years, she has campaigned tirelessly to make sure her boys, and other children killed by their parents, will never be forgotten.

She’s been an ambassador for Women’s Aid since 2016, helping them drive their Child First: Safe Child Contact Saves Lives campaign.

They’ve lobbied the government to end the ‘presumption of contact’ in family courts, a legal principle that prioritises parental contact even when abuse has been alleged or reported.

A recent report has found that 67 children have been killed by a parent in the last 30 years while under the family courts system. Jack and Paul were numbers 18 and 19.

“Contact with a parent should never come at the expense of a child’s safety. I know what happens when it does. Because family courts are closed courts, the press don’t know about any of this so it’s only the government that has the power to change it.”

In a poignant moment, the Ministry of Justice officially announced the law on 22^nd October – the eleventh anniversary of that horrendous day in Penistone – that the law will be changed.

After a decade-long campaign, Claire has ensured that Jack and Paul, and other children like them, are no longer invisible. They were here. They mattered. And they always will.